Thursday, December 4, 2008

How to sabotage your new healthy lifestyle

So you're looking to screw up your healthy new lifestyle that has been making you feel better, lose weight, and has given you more energy.

Well, let me tell you how you can do it in just a few easy steps.

  1. First, spend time thinking about how unfair it is that others can eat the foods you want to eat.
    The most important part about this step is to surround yourself with two kinds of people. You want to make sure you have people around you that have never had a real weight problem and that tend to eat whatever they want. You'll also want to be sure to spend time around people that have a weight problem or better yet type 2 diabetes, but have decided to just eat whatever they want regardless of whatever it does to their health.

    Once you've surrounded yourself with these people, you'll want to make sure that you savor every bite of food they eat. With each bite of candy bar, french fry, or slice of pizza, you'll want to visualize how absolutely irresistibly delicious it must be.

    Don't forget that it would be totally worth it, regardless of how crummy you feel after eating it or how much the numbers on the scale move up. That piece of cake, doughnut, or chocolate bar is guaranteed to be the best you've ever had.

  2. Second, you'll want to make sure you give in to a craving
    As your friends/coworkers/family described in the previous step are eating their until their hearts content, make sure you take them up on their suggestion that "one bite won't hurt", "everything's okay in moderation", or "you're being too hard on yourself". Once you've realized that one bite really can't hurt, that everything really is okay in moderation, or that you really are being too hard on yourself, it's your chance to go ahead and give in! Dig in and enjoy!
    There are really two different approaches here, you can either just have a bite and tell yourself that you'll be okay now, or you can go all out and tell yourself it's just this one time.

  3. Third, repeat step 2 as often as necessary to completely destroy your health and more importantly your commitment to a healthy lifestyle.
    I know that part of step 2 was to tell yourself that it was "just this one time". Remember that even if you know you're going to do this again tomorrow or next week, it's really important to keep saying "just this once".

  4. The fourth and final step is to think about how impossible it is for anyone to continue low-carb for the rest of their life.
    This is the final nail in the coffin for your healthy lifestyle. Make sure you convince yourself that you couldn't possibly have lived that way for the rest of your life anyway. I mean regardless of how much better you felt, it would be impossible for someone to stick to eating just whole natural foods for the rest of their life anyway.
That's my definitive guide for how to blow your healthy low-carb lifestyle.

Each person may require their own blend of unique steps to ruining their commitment to their healthy lifestyle, so make sure you fine tune the program to your needs.

One thing to remember is that once you've gotten yourself started on ruining your commitment to a healthy lifestyle, it should be pretty easy to keep the ball rolling. After even a short time you'll find that your body and mind will get more committed to ruining your good health and you'll be back to your old self in no time!

If you've got any advice that has helped you or others close to you destroy a healthy lifestyle, feel free to throw your two cents into comments.

Best of luck,
Alex

3 comments:

Former Donut Junkie said...

Alex, great piece! As you know, the "Deprivation Mindset" is a popular topic with me, and you pegged just exactly how it plays out. And the people you surround yourself with is indeed a key to failure or success. I'm a big believer in the fact that 90% of weight loss success is the mental game. As a person thinks, so he is! Thus, it is critical to distance yourself from the naysayers and folks who sabotage your diet, intentionally or unintentionally. Or, learn how to deal with the negative comments and/or examples that they set. Ron, aka The Former Donut Junkie.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the excuse that you can take a break and eat normally again for a little while. If you add a few pounds, so what? You can always go back to your diet again later.

Stargazey said...

Alex, how are things going with your reactive hypoglycemia? Also, did you complete the sweet-free challenge? I decided to try it and am on Day 8. It's much harder than I thought it would be!

Best wishes,
Stargazey